George Zienowicz is His Own Grandfather?!

(AP – Trenton) George Zienowicz, fiddler, piper and silent fifth voice of the Celtic band, Na’Bodach, has been indicted by a grand jury yesterday on charges of “existing as a multi-generational entity.” The state is charging the hirsute musician with several counts ranging from underage fiddling to being one’s own grandfather. “We find this case intriguing”, says Ted Mandy of the Greater Trenton DA’s office. Mandy, a lawyer specializing in elder youth cases notes, “Georgie”, when young, or “Mr. Z”, when old, is a fascinating subject. Rare as these cases are, they do manifest consistent with traditional musicians. The inherent immaturity associated with musicians in general, mixed with the historical element of a traditional art form can produce an age conflict in the individual.”

Mandy observes this condition as a “phenomenon.” If convicted, Zienowicz may serve time at the Northeast PA Correctional Facility for Fiddling and Diddling, pending notification of his parents. A Na’Bodach spokesperson and band member, Andy Redmond, could not be reached due to a prior commitment as judge for a “Consume the Most Bowls of Lucky Charms in Guinness Without Throwing Up and Win a T Shirt” contest at a local frat house.